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This guide will tell you how to be the sneakiest robber ever.
The Break-In Guide to be Sneakiest Robber Ever
You want to be the sneakiest robber ever, well let me tell you buddy, it’s going to be a long path full of blood, sweat, and tears. Some of which will not be your own. But lucky for you, I’ve created this guide with the intent of putting new robbers on the right path. Kick back and grab a wrench, we’re gonna stealth.
First Rule of Sneaking
The first rule of being sneaky is be quiet. Throwing and breaking stuff is very loud, however you can sneakily bring doors and windows off hinges by using a wrench. If you want to be sneaky, a wrench will be a very useful tool. You should also avoid running whenever possible as it is very loud.
Second Rule of Sneakery
The second rule of sneakery is to stay out of sight. Luckily, due to the toxic fumes that this town is infamous for, everyone is brain damaged. They have the object permanence of a goldfish and will more often than not ignore any and all suspicious things. It is recommended you scout out the house through windows to see where anyone may be. If necessary, you can also knock out residents with your hammer. Guards are much trickier, they cannot be knocked out with a hammer, and can only be knocked out by a tactical banana peel. If guards spot you, unlike residents, they will run after you and taze you, instantly calling the cops in the process. It is recommended to avoid guards at all costs. Cameras can also spot you. If a camera spots you, it will blare a loud alarm that will alert guards/residents to the area. You can destroy cameras with either a hammer or wrench(?), a hammer being loud and alerting a guard/resident to the area, and a wrench not alerting anyone. Make sure to pick up the camera and store it in your getaway vehicle of choice, as you can sell it for profit.
Third Rule of Sneak
The third rule of sneak is to scout out potential entrances before resorting to breaking down doors/windows. Chances are, a window may be cracked open or a door may be unlocked/open. Breaking a door down can lessen your available resources, as you may need to close them to prevent sight, and if you break the door down you can’t close it. With windows, it can just be a pain to traverse around them. You can also get up to the roof by climbing up gutters, windowsills, ladders that you brought, etc. This may be necessary at more secure locations with a lot of cameras/guards.
Fourth Rule of S
The fourth rule of S is to use your environment to your advantage. Close doors to prevent line of sight, block off doors, do anything you can to prevent anyone seeing you. As covered in the second rule, everyone here is brain damaged, so they will not call the cops if they suddenly can’t leave their room or if they notice something moved out of place/in suspicious places. Always have a way out through windows or any other exit in case of an emergency.
Fifth Rule of
The fifth rule of is to take as little trips back and forth as possible. It is recommended to bring swag bags for this purpose, as they can hold many different things at once. It is also recommended to leave things you have to carry for last so that when you go to take them out, you can leave if anyone notices you. Make sure that your exit of choice is big enough to get the object out.
A good sneaker knows that you should always be prepared and know what gear to bring. If your goal is to be sneaky, these tools will help you.
A wrench will be your best friend in sneaking. This thing can take doors/windows off the hinges completely silently, and even take out cameras stealthily as well(?). This tool should always be on your tool belt.
Lampshades are extremely useful in sneaking. If you stand still with one on your head, you’re completely cloaked and no one will ever notice you. Once again, as covered in rule 2, this is because everyone is brain damaged. Very handy for getting out of a sticky situation.
A Swag Bags usefulness isn’t just in sneaking, they’re extremely convenient and everyone should have one when robbing. They can hold many different things at once, and can make clearing out houses a breeze.
Firecrackers, while loud, can be helpful for distracting or trapping people in rooms. These will divert attention away from you so that you can sneak past or you can throw them in a room to trap people inside once they go to investigate.
Tactical Bananas can knock people out without alerting them, which is something the hammer can’t do. They are also the only way to knock out guards. These can also combo with firecrackers to lead people directly into slipping and knocking themself out.
Ladders and Climbing Axes will help you get to the roof of certain buildings, climbing axes are more portable than ladders, but more expensive, needing two of them, and they take up room on your toolbelt. If you only need to set up one access point to the roof, the ladder is less expensive and don’t take up space on your toolbelt.
Tips and Tricks
- If you bring a full team of sneakies (people who read this guide), you can clear out a location much faster and much more efficiently.
- Sometimes murder is okay
- Crouching can make you harder to see
- If you are having trouble sneaking/getting into the rhythm of being sneaky, I recommend listening to this song during your stealth sessions https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3mxLL7nX1E
- Having someone babysit an unconscious person and knock them out when they get back up can prove effective if there is only one person in the house. Keep in mind that you will need a hammer for this.
- If you knock someone out enough, they will suffer even worse brain damage and forget the number to 911.
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