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This guide represents the purest form of a comedic walkthrough. Have fun and educate yourself!
Walkthrough for the First 3 Achievements
As I wasn’t able to find the info on the internet and had to solve the whole stuff by myself, I thought I save you the fun and tell you how you can get all achievements (at once).
You already know that there are were 3 achievements in this game when I wrote this guide right?
To “escape the loop” you need to kill and burn the slug, for “get the girl” do the same with the nice little buff from your necro girlfriend and for “slay the king” you need to…guess what??? nope… kill a demon, not the king (and then burn the poor slug).
But woah… that is the stuff you can find on different pages on the internet already?!
Your personal “Berx saves the day” guide offers you more than that! You won’t get one solution, no, you won’t get two solutions, no, YOU GET ALL 3 OF THEM (free for limited loop, loop, loop, loop, loop).
social stuff #NPC
But at first, some social stuff for all of you. The number of times you have to talk to each NPC to get all unlocks:
The game doesn’t count the times talked to an NPC rather than Familiarity you achieved.
Times talked can be different for every Player (especially thanks to the skill learned by the smith)
- The old guy alias carrot farmer -> 2.114
- The fisherman alias the beard guy -> 1.440
- The samurai alias the girl with a cool hat -> 2.181
- The three drunken guards alias the booze brothers -> 2.228
- The priest alias the crazy healer -> 2.857
- The blacksmith alias the funny dude -> 2.856
- The caporal of the guard alias captain serious -> 2.581
- The necromancer alias dead hearth girl -> 5.317
- The firefly queen alias Ms. hydra hair -> 2.419
- The city chancellor alias dead man running -> 2.361
- The king alias the skeleton -> 0 … he is dead
- The demon alias King 2.0 -> 1 if you want to die, otherwise 0
Now for the part why you are here, the achievements.
ESCAPE THE LOOP
To be able to beat the game and receive the achievements you need to kill 4 of your best friends. If you look at the attached map, you can find the parts 7, 14, 15, 16 on which 4 poor souls are marked with a red circle. Kill em all in one loop and take the blood to the top of the mountain (map part 5) and destroy the 4 crystals (first interact with them, then fight the bling bling). When you did it, you won’t need the blood of your companions anymore. Don’t kill them again. This will consume your soul and you will burn in hell for the rest of eternity. Just kidding. Kill them as often as you want.
Now you fulfilled the necessary requirements to beat the game. If you pick up the slug on the right side of the dead guy, you can burn it in one of the fireplaces and you escaped the loop.
GET THE GIRL
If you want to get the girl (or at least the achievement), you need to pick up some booze (map part 15, blue circle) and dance with your gothic necro girl. Of course, you can only take her on a great and romantic date, if you already flirted with her until you reached familiarity 70. She is not a girl for one night you know? After getting drunk and having the best night of this loop you receive a buff “FOUND LOVE”. From this time onwards you need twice as much mana for the rest of this loop. Rush to your slimy friend and burn it.
SLAY THE KING
The most unromantic part of the game is to slay the king. It is full of stress, disappointment and slimy slug burning, but first things first. Rush to map part 8, through the barrels and kill the assassin marked with a stylish yellow circle. With this, you saved the chancellor who runs away like a little chicken, but at least he opens the castle doors. Within the castle you can read a lot of books to be able to sprint up the mountain like Silvester Stallone ran up the stairs in Rocky II.
Whatever you do, you should find your way to map part 2. Play a little bit with the dead king and take his amulet as a gift from this sleeping beauty. Pull the lever a few tiles north-east of him and enter the castle through the not so well-hidden secret passage (blood trails will lead your way). To be able to enter the throne room you need to show the chancellor the kings amulet and he will exchange it with the throne room key. Surprise surprise… there is no king.
A demon is sitting on the throne and is already waiting for you. He is absolutely crushing you before you can even touch him, no matter how hard you could hit him. What could possibly save the day? Of course, the love of your sweet necro girl. With her buff, the attack of 35 peng puffs, a good quality shield, 36 HP and 5 health potions, you can easily send this demon back to where he was coming from. Afterwards…kill Mr. Sluggy and burn him.
Conclusion
The smart readers and the ones who endured to read this walkthrough from the get-go will now realize:
If I need the romantic buff from the necromancer to be able to slay the demon and I need to burn the slug afterwards, I could do all 3 achievements at once?!?! Good job, that’s why I choose to name the guide like this. Now realize you can channel your inner power and beat this damn game once and for all to finally achieve a “perfect game”.
The map
